Finally

I now have a better and clearer understanding in why women stay in abusive relationships. Starting with one of the first article I wrote about in this blog and the fact that doctors, or nurses are not always properly trained to deal with this. Also the fact that they ask when women come in with bruises or cuts. Women not feeling comfortable enough to know that they "official" they are telling will help them is something very important in understanding why they do not always go to authority. Besides that we can see the significant impact that having children causes when women want to leave but cannot. In the beginning I thought it was because they wanted the picture perfect family picture. While in reality it the fact that because many of these women do not have their own homes they become homeless, and then lose custody of their children (or that is what they think). Women who stay in domestic violence have ways to pull through the abuse, and that same mechanism they use do defend there abuser is the same way they find the power to leave. The process of leaving is a hard thing to come through and society does not make it easier as stated in my last blog. Love can be blind and can sometimes kill. What I was hoping from this blog is getting a better understanding for why women stayed i domestic relationship and I feel as tough I have succeeded. Now what I hope my blog can do is help women in domestic relationships understand that there are ways that they can leave that will secure there families, or them. I also hope that if any women who is currently or did go through domestic violence know that I understand why they have kept that position and know to look and think if it is worth staying in. Love can be blind but it shouldn't be deadly.

Society's Recognition

As you guys are aware I am trying to understand why women stay in domestic violent relationships, and I now think that the problem is not knowing why women stay in abusive relationship, but why society thinks that women who stay are almost asking for the years of abuse. I noticed that society shows women in domestic violent relationships having alternatives. However when they do this they show the easy road. When I mean the easy road I mean the fact that they always say is that help is a phone call away. Although, as I now know it is a difficult, scary, not guaranteed road. The idea that these women know that they will receive the help and outcome they want is not always true. Also the process to actually see that you partnership is no longer working, and that the love that you believe was there is actually not is hard. Especially women who had years when there husbands were "normal", because they feel and think that the man they first met is somewhere "in there" and they can get him back. Also if a women has a family it can put a big strain in why women would feel the need to stay. Overall society does not play a good role in showing these reasons. Instead they state one should be able to get out of these relationship fast.
I remember watching a Lifetime movie about a teenage girl who dies because of her abusive boyfriend, and at the end the actress states that when people are in these relationships to find help. Besides that she also state for friends that know about these relationships to state something. Although reality is that many of these domestic violent cases the women is isolated or she plays a good role in acting like everything is perfect. In other words she does not want to say anything which is understandable now to me. In conclusion I think in order for us to help women in domestic violent relationships society has to accept that getting out or looking for help is not so black and white when dealing with domestic violent women.

Signs

As I keep understanding better why women stay in domestic violent relationships I thought it would be interesting what signs people should be aware off before it leads to domestic violence. Based on domesticviolence.org we get a list of things that we should be aware off. For example there is a lot of tension and you find yourself trying to keep the partner calm before you think something is going to occur. Also if your partner ever hit you and blames you, or states it will never happen again the reality of it is it can occur again. Besides that if does occur again that is your signal to get out of the relationship. I recommend this website for anyone who needs help, or have any questions towards domestic violence.
I also think it is important to state that when guy friends also play rough with you that is not a great idea. Going to the college I go too I see a lot of girls and guys rough playing, which I use to do myself. However, this is an entrance for people to disrespect each other. Calling derogatory names to each other is not a way to play with each other. This can lead to a form of emotional abuse. Overall I think that boys and girls in general have to realize that it is not correct to "play fight" or call each other names in order to have fun.